Navigating the Profound Loss of a Beloved Pet
I was reminded this past weekend, upon losing our family dog, Wilson, that the loss of a pet can be one of the most profound and heart-wrenching experiences in life.
Wilson was a part of our family. His unconditional love and companionship was a constant aspect of our lives for the past 15 years. He saw us through everything. He was with us through my children growing into adults, through parental loss, and through all the adjustments from pre-pandemic to post-pandemic life. He was with us through many, many happy moments. Although he lived a long and happy life, the adjustment to his loss has been very hard.
Losing a pet is a very significant loss. It is a loss worthy of grief and mourning and it leaves us grappling with a complex mix of emotions. I deeply empathize with those who have experienced or are experiencing this form of loss and I encourage you to be gentle with yourselves. As a psychologist who has navigated this form of grief and the confusion that comes with it, I have compiled a list of strategies to help one cope at this difficult time.
Seek Support
Sharing our emotions with friends, family and others is a crucial aspect of handling grief. Oftentimes we may feel very alone in our sadness but the truth is many people have, in one way or another, been touched by this type of grief. Allow others to empathize and hold space for your feelings. We heal through connection and when we lose a pet, our need for connection will be higher than ever. In fact, very often our pet was the one we went to when we needed a nonjudgmental listener.
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR GRIEF
When we lose a pet, we may encounter others who have not experienced the same sort of loss or who have not shared a relationship with a family pet. Oftentimes we are expected to return to work and to our daily tasks as usual. This can sometimes feel impossible and invalidating of the grief and sadness we are experiencing.
Acknowledge for yourself that the loss of a pet is devastating.
Acknowledge that the grief is representative of the love you had for your pet and that grief is not a linear process. There is no timeline to dictate how you should or should not be feeling. It takes time to process grief. Above all, be compassionate and patient with yourself.
HONOUR YOUR PET’S MEMORY
There are so many meaningful ways to commemorate the life of a pet. Amid grief, honouring the memory of your pet can be a wonderful way of coping. One beautiful way to honour your pet’s memory is by paying it forward and donating to, or volunteering at, animal rescues that care for pets who aren’t so fortunate as to have permanent homes. It is a beautiful way to share the love for your pet and channel it positively.
CELEBRATE YOUR PET’S LIFE
Permit yourself to celebrate the love your pet brought into your life. Sometimes we find ourselves feeling guilty when we reflect on and enjoy positive memories while simultaneously grieving the loss. Remember that grief is complicated. Our ability to celebrate and share cherished memories with loved ones only honours the special bond we were lucky enough to have with our pet.
Remember, grief is an individual experience. It is deeply personal. I encourage you to trust yourself to find coping strategies that resonate most deeply with you. There is hope and healing, even in the wake of this loss. You shared a profoundly loving relationship with your pet. The love lasts forever.
