Some Helpful Coping Strategies As You Move Into the Holiday Season
Many of us have high expectations around the holiday season. We imagine the season will be filled with relaxation, celebration and joy. The majority of us have been conditioned, most of our lives, to believe the holidays are a time to finally prioritize relaxation after a long, sometimes overwhelming year. If you think about it, we are often bombarded throughout our childhood with movies, images and media that feature cheery families siting around the dinner table, in a near perfect Norman Rockwell style. Understandably, some of us may feel a sense of guilt or hesitation in admitting that, more often than not, the holiday season can actually be quite stressful.
For many of us, the season brings about some unique challenges to our mental and emotional well-being.
It is important for us to try to normalize these feelings since, so often, we may feel pressured to keep our overwhelm quiet for the sake of keeping everyone around us happy and comfortable. We may begin to experience feelings of guilt around the hesitation we are actually feeling around the holiday season. In this case, it is important to remember the beauty of vulnerability. When we challenge ourselves to be open and vulnerable about our holiday stress and feelings, we give those around us permission to do the same. By simply being able to say to a friend or family member that this season is not going quite as well as we had hoped or expected, we can feel like a weight is being lifted off our shoulders. The stress and complexity of our feelings are very understandable.
Some may be experiencing this time of year for the first time after losing a family member or close friend, or after having gone through a separation. It is common to struggle when we experience the holidays for the first time without that special person. We may feel flooded with grief.
We may have difficulty coping with the overwhelm and stress that come from interacting with various family members, having to commit to certain social gatherings or, alternatively, navigating the burden of financial stress that comes with gift giving.
Managing Holiday Stress
Strategies for Prioritizing Mental Health in the New Year
Practice Mindfulness by Using the 4-7-8 Technique
When we find ourselves in an anxiety provoking situation, our body may experience what is called fight, flight of freeze. This triggers our breathing to become irregular, rapid and shallow, further perpetuating this sense of anxiety. When we find ourselves in such an anxiety provoking situation, remember the numbers 4-7-8. Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, and exhale for eight seconds. The act of exhaling longer than we inhale is the opposite of how we breathe when panicked and can help calm ourselves.
Establish Boundaries
Remember that it is okay to say “no” if required. Challenge yourself to ask the question “Am I overcommitting to social gatherings out of obligation and people pleasing, or because I genuinely want to be there?” If the answer is out of obligation and people pleasing, ask yourself what boundaries need to be set. This may mean having to sit with the discomfort that comes from declining an invitation, in order to help prioritize our stress levels. If declining a social obligation does not feel like an option, recognize what your personal boundary could look like. For example, setting a time limit for yourself with respect to how long you will attend the event.
Seek Support
When experiencing holiday related overwhelm, never hesitate to seek out professional help. Working with a psychologist allows you a safe space to be supported, to have your holiday related feelings heard and understood in a non-judgmental and compassionate way, and to learn valuable coping mechanisms.
Please remember you are not alone.
